Wow... I never thought I would be getting traffic from Ultrashock, a Flash resource/community site, but I got quite a nice little spike in hits on my log the other day when they linked to my fonts.

Dana has the coolest domain name ever... and a pretty cool journal to boot it would seem.

New splash page up. Check it out if you have only this page bookmarked.

I needed something to do... I haven't touched PhotoShop in so long I had to open it up and play around with it just to convince myself I actually know how to use the program still...

Apathy sets in...

I am beyond frustration. Life has become almost meaningless. I get up, make Bowen's lunch, drive him to school, come home and scour monster.com, dice.com, hotjobs.com for anything new, clean the house... If it's Sunday I get up early and get all the Sunday papers from Hartford, New Haven, New London and look through them after church to see if there's anything.

There's never anything...

Each week I send out resumés, emails, online applications - and it all feels like it's for nothing.

On top of this, I am starting to get hassled by my ex for Lynsey's health insurance running out...

I wish my life would get started again. I'm tired of waiting for it to wake up.

Frustration is mounting. I need to get back to work. The longer I sit at home, idle, watching the ever-continuing coverage of the events of two weeks ago the worse I feel. And I only get more and more discouraged as I hear of the problems with the economy, unemployment rising and more and more dot coms filing for chapter 11.

I am thankful though, that through all of this, I still have enough to eat, gas to get around, and am able to pay my bills...

I keep on mailing out resumés and cover letters, scouring monster.com every day, reading the classifieds from Hartford and New London every sunday... all to no avail it seems thus far. I know something will come along sooner or later, but I rather it be sooner. I once read or heard that a man defines himself by what he does. I feel undefined...

I don't know how Zannah, (who I have admired and adored ever since I first ventured onto the internet) finds the time or motivation to update so often, but I swing by there every day. You probably should too...

Although I realize that I am not any sort of bastion of Christianity on the internet, being a Christian I feel I have to say something about what's happened. It's been a week now and the shock has finally worn off; I am no longer numb.

People have been asking me questions recently and sometimes I am afraid to answer them. One of them is "What happens to the people on those planes? Where are they now? Heaven? Hell?" There's no easy way to answer it. I want to tell them that they're in God's hands now, which is the truth, but I am obligated to answer them truthfully. My pastor probably explained it best and that's what I've been telling people:

If there were 75 people on one of those planes and out of the 75, 65 of them had heard the gospel of salvation and 10 of them had accepted Jesus as their savior, then they are in glory right now. For the believer, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. The 10 out of the 75 who never heard the news of Jesus Christ, had never heard the gospel, they are not lost. Since they have never been preached the gospel of salvation, they are not responsible and they will be judged according to their deeds. But the 55 of the 65 who had heard the message of salvation and rejected it, they are lost. In Pastor Burns' words, "They have trampled upon the shed blood of Jesus."

Sad? Yes - infinitely tragic. It saddens me to the very depths of my heart. It's a sad, troubling time and the loss of human life and human souls is far greater a loss than the twin towers and petagon could ever be.

But there's another side to the coin. For the believer, this is a sign of the end times. Jesus said in Matthew 24:6,7:

And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom...

It does not make it any easier to accept nor lessen the grief you naturally feel, but it's the best consolation we have. It's galvanized the country and is bringing people back to God like nothing has in a long time. For those who say, "How can God allow something like this to happen?" Billy Graham's daughter had a good response:

We've shunned him from our lives, taken prayer out of schools, removed him from the government and the way we write our laws. If you push him aside, he won't stay around, and if he doesn't stay around, how can we remain under his protection?

shocked... just shocked.

I don't have words to express what I am feeling. The anger, the shock, the horror of it all.

I can't wrap my mind around it. The image of that plane flying into the WTC will stay with me forever.

BigMisterC.com may be coming to an end pretty soon. Without a job it's going to be hard to come up with the money to renew the domain when it expires in October. I was thinking about letting it expire anyway and registering it with a cheaper domain registration service, but now I don't know if I'll be able to register it anywhere.

Well, I've updated my portfolio. I haven't updated it since before I got to Priceline. I've learned and done so much since then that it no longer reflected what I do and the style I work in.

Sorry about the lack of news, but I've been concetrating on my job search and trying to keep busy around the house as much as I can.

The job up in Willimantic didn't pan out. It's not right for me. What they want is someone who can do a lot of back end stuff with databases, networks, programming and web design as well. And since it's a hospital environment and the person in the position would be part of the IT staff, it would require being on call on a rotating basis for the whole hospital.

Na, na, na... I had enough of that when I worked as an IT dude in a medical lab. And for what they're offering and what you'd be expected to do in the position, it's not just realistic. If they want their cake and eat it too, that's fine; but I'm not the one who's going to be serving it to them.

But overall things still look promising. There aren't a lot of jobs out there, but they're out there. I'll find one. I just have to keep praying in the mean time.

Praise Him!

When I got laid off last week, I couldn't help but be excited. I don't know why, but I just knew that it was a sign that God had something better in store for me. Sure enough, I got an email this morning (yesterday afternoon actually, but I wasn't home to get it,) saying that someone at a staffing company in West Hartford had found a position that I would be a good match for in Willimantic.

Willimantic is only 35 minutes from my house!

I've been traveling anywhere from one and a half to three hours to get to work for the past 2-3 years. This is truly a blessing. I have become more and more involved with the music ministry at church and was starting to worry about exactly how much I could commit to it, because I came from so far away after work that it was nearly impossible to get there on time.

That problem may be solved very soon...

Well, it's happened again. I've been laid off from my job.

It's funny. All of my common sense is telling me that I should be upset, that I should be mad. But I cannot help but feel good about the whole thing. It's no secret that I wasn't 100% happy there. It was a really long commute and it was often a very frustrating experience. I wasn't being used as much as I could have been, they didn't even begin to tap into what I could do creatively. I spent most of my time, fixing dumb mistakes and adding little bits of content to the site here and there. I did accomplish some really neat stuff while I was there, like designing and setting up their intranet and extranet sites, but the dull times far outweighed the exciting ones.

Now I feel like there are all these possibilities open before me - I just have to ferret them out...

Speaking of which...

I was talking to Brenda's cousin last night on the phone because she was having problems with her system. It's acting real funky... She said that almost all of the desktop icons have disappeared, the start menu is empty and now it won't boot.

Me: Have you gotten any email lately that says something like, "Hi! How are you? I send you this file in order to have your advice..."

Her: Yeah!

Me: "See you later. Thanks"

Her (sounding increasingly agitated:) Yeah!

Me: ...with a strange file attached?

Her: Yeah!

Me: Did you open it?

Her: ...yeah.

Me: That's that SirCam virus that's been in the news...

Her: No, Sir! Get out! Are you serious?

I'm heading over there after work to see what I can do... She's been running their PC with zero virus protection, so it's probably buggier than MicroSoft _______________. [fill in abhorrable MS product of choice]

Hi! How are you?

I send you this file in order to have your advice

See you later. Thanks

. . . . . . . .

I can hardly believe that I am still getting these

Up until the beginning of this week I had been marveling at how nice this summer had been.

I don't like summer. I'm not a beach person (even though I do tan nicely.) I don't like heat. I'd much rather have snow and 20° than sunshine and 85° So I was really grooving on this summer - it wasn't too hot (mostly in the 70s - low 80s,) not too humid, but then Monday showed up and BAM!

Summer had finally, really arrived...

Tempature in the upper 90s with high humidity. The air was thick and moist. The sky at the horizon was a battleship gray color. My commute turned into utter hell.

With weather that severe, you know it's going to be something equally severe to make it swing back the other way and that arrived this afternoon - huge thunderstorms. We lost power at work and I got to leave early. Of course, that didn't traslate into my getting home early as I found myself being constantly re-routed due to downed lines, accidents and flooding...

Man, I hate summer...

Lately I've been having conversations with different members of the New Dream Network about the state of their site, the apparent lack of activity and the sorry state of the design-oriented mailing list. It seems that the main focus of the group has become their hosting service Dreamhost, which I use and would recommend. I always thought of NDN as more of community than a business and find it kind of sad that they've chosen that path. I don't blame them and don't think that they've sold out, but they really had a good thing going back in the day alongside Swanky.

Dallas assured me that there will be a renewed emphasis on community and more activity from the members along with a more distinct separation between the business and non-business aspects of what they do. I sincerely hope so... NDN and their members were one of my main inspirations for taking up web design and mailing list has really helped to shape and mold my vision as a designer.

I just pray he follows through with it.

Did you ever say to yourself, "Where's a cop when you need one?" Well, yesterday there was one...

I was sitting, waiting at a red light on the offramp from I-95 to Rte. 1 in New Haven. The offramp has two lanes and second in line in the left hand lane was a state trooper waiting for a green light. To his left was a large truck - so he was mostly hidden from people traveling along rte. 1 couldn't see him. The light turned red for the traffic on rte. and this SUV comes flying through the red light like a bat out of hell. Mr. trooper turned on his lights and pulled the idiot over.

I am not usually the type of person to take delight in the misfortune of others, but I threw my head back and laughed out loud in sheer joy!

Not exactly a slow day at work, but the time is dragging on endlessly. I look at the clock and wonder to myself, is it really only 4:15? I know why though. It's because I took yesterday off. A day off in the middle of the week sucks. Monday or Friday is cool because you get that whole long weekend thing going, but any other day just sucks...

On a positive not, I got a call today and learned that I have secured 4 tickets to go see Emeril Live! BAM! Look for me! I'll be on the September 15th show... I just have to figure out who I am taking with me...

Newly opened! The bigmisterc store @ CafePress.com. Just in case you don't get enough of me from this crappy website...

aaaa!

What an aggravating day. The IT guy here at work had to install some kind of Big Brother, IT Remote Control software on my machine and the installation interfered with the driver for one of my video cards (dual display, baby! yeah!) The end result being a re-install of Windows and a complete destruction of my registry. I spent the whole day either waiting around for him to finish monkeying with my machine or re-installing every single piece of hardware, software and their updates...

I am not a happy camper.

As my friend Beth once said, " IT guys are on crack!"

I find myself more and more disliking the atmosphere here at work. It's always been a little uptight when it comes to things like dress code, use of headphones, etc., but there is something worse than that in the air. The bigwigs so want to be in a big corporation that you can taste it in the air all around the office. Like burnt ozone... Buzzwords and anacronyms abound, the walls seem to whisper and reverberate, "i.p.o... i.p.o... i.p.o..." The parking lot is stuffed to capacity with SUVs. The uniform of the day is button-down oxford, chinos and loafers that cost as much as I spend on clothes in a year.

Testosterone flows like a river...

It's pretty scary. The more and more aware I become of the amount of power corporations wield in the world the more and more leery I am of having anything to do with the corporate world. Or even little companies with corporate aspirations. I don't want to dedicate my talent to achieve a world dictated by the bottom line.

I'd feel, perhaps, a little better maybe working at a place that at least had a creative vision, a palpable identity. At least I would have oppurtunity for more creative freedom, but where I am now I dread the day ahead of me as I pour over the same old mediocre drivel, day in and day out.

I've been seeing this virus in my inbox a lot lately. Someone I know must be infected and is sending it to me. I'm getting it like 5 or 6 times a day. If you recieve a funky email with a .pif or a .lnk attachment don't even bother opening it...

I'm thankful that I've been smart enough not to open the damn thing...

I'm not sure what I intend to do with this yet, but it looks nice anyway.

"XXX XXXXXXX" wrote in message news:9j4q6s$5be$1@forums.macromedia.com

I recently installed Windows 2000 (clean install) and now I cannot seem to get Fontographer 4.1.5 for Windows to run. Whenever I launch it I get the message, "Could not initialize the program, because there is not enough memory available to run" with Code = 30202.

I have an AMD 1.2 gig with 786 megs ram. This happens even after a fresh reboot with nothing else running.

Any ideas?

Thanks

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have an idea, although it won't solve your problem... How about an update to the program? How many versions of Windows & Mac OS have come and gone since the last update? Enough to warrant a new version - even a "dot" release or an update at least... I really think it's ludicrous that Macromedia hasn't bothered to continue developing this product. Especially in light of the fact that there is a new font format that they could be supporting: Open Type. You know, Microsoft is working on a authoring tool for open type, according to their website.

Why isn't MM?

Don't they care about the Fontographer users? Did they buy it from Altsys just to let the product fester? It's the only worthwhile tool for creating fonts right now - but for how long? I really wish someone
would do something about this...

...before I eventually switch to something else. Something better will come along and MM and fontographer will be left in the dust if they don't do something about it..

 - m a t t -

m@bigmisterc.com

http://bigmisterc.com

Well... yes, I've been quiet.

The truth is that I am busy, busy, busy at the moment. I've been making a lot of behind the scenes changes to the site: 1) the addition of permalinks (that's these things here: {...} ) and 2) the comment type thingie, which I got from Dan of foreword.com. Thanks, Dan!

I am also working on the redesign of a website for a church I used to attend and still maintain for them. Not only that but Paul Genberg has asked me to work on a new ecards site with him, and I am in the middle of writing two articles for diarist.net.

Aside from that, Brenda and I are probably not speaking to each other for a while after the huge fight we had this morning...

Sorry... Lack of updates has been due to an unexpected long weekend and the lingering death of my PC at home. Not have I not only lost the modem, but now my zip drive and CD-ROM are kaput.

The unexpected long weekend sprang up from my sister needing a ride to go get her car out of the shop. Friday morning we waited and waited to hear from the garage, so we could go and pick up her car. I got tired of waiting and called them around 10:30 - 11:00 to see if they were done and found that they were just taking it out for a test run. Rather than run her down to New London to get the car and then drive 2 hours to work I just decided I'd be better off just calling the day a day off rather than coming in late as I had planned - especially since I couldn't stay late to make up the lost time.

Over the weekend, I somehow managed to injure myself, not too seriously, thank God. I was cooking lunch for the kids and was tossing hot dogs into a pot. I also had a baking sheet balanced on the stove because I was also going to bake some french fires in the oven. As I was doing so, I inadvertently knocked the baking sheet off of the stove, squarely on my big toe. {OUCH!} I didn't look down at my foot right away, but continued to finish plopping the dogs into the boiling water. When I had finished, I looked down at my foot and to my utter amazement saw that I was standing in a small pool of my own blood and that my other foot was mottled with splashes of blood. It seems the baking sheet hit me exactly where my toe and toenail meet. That area is not at all used to seeing any kind of lotion or anything like that and the dry,rough skin just gave on impact. It still hurts like crazy and I've got antibiotic cream and bandaids on it and am a bit gimpy... But at least I didn't drop something heavy on it like one of our big pseudo non stick cast iron pots...

Well, in spite of the fact that distributing my fonts is a supreme pain in the ass, I still love making them. Click on the "A" to get a preview of the upper- and lower-case letters and the numerals.

I am rather pleased with how it is progressing thus far, but have no idea what to call it. If you have any ideas, be sure to let me know.

According to my logs, 55 people downloaded fonts from me yesterday. I am also placed at number 19 on a search on MSN for "Free Font Download," which really isn't bad seeing as how I've never registered my site to be spidered by them, nor do I have any META tags on my page.

Here's the sad part. If I were still asking for a $10 shareware fee for my work and everyone who downloaded shareware actually paid the fee, I'd be compensated $550. That's why I took down the font site. That's why you don't see people all over the net making fonts any more. That's why I hate font sites that list 1000 fonts for free download filled with other people's work.

Don't anyone ever dare complain to me about the lack of new and interesting fonts being made or that fonts from Adobe, AGFA, T-26, Emigre, etc cost so much. They're liable to get a poke in the eye. Why is the Open Source community is in existance? Because people want to share their creations and build things as a community? Or is it because protecting your intellectual property on the web is ridiculously hard?

The stupidy never ends...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

----- Original Message -----

From: <######@#######.com>

To: <matt@bigmisterc.com>

Sent: Monday, July 09, 2001 9:58 PM

Subject: Database Design- DesignNhost.com

> Dear matt@bigmisterc.com,

>

> http://www.designnhost.com provides custom application development services.

>

> We specialize in creating and extending data-driven business applications to the web.

>

> Our skilled application architects, data modelers, analysts, developers and project managers can help you with every stage of a project, from gathering user requirements to testing and deployment.

>

> For Free Quote, call us @ (###) ###-#### or visit us at http://designnhost.com/request.htm

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

listen...

before you start sending out these huge mailings, why don't consider who you're sending this to...

i assume that since I was among those targeted that you're trying to appeal to desigers, developers, etc... if that's true, this mailing is just plain downright laughable. i went to your site, looked at the code, saw the Dreamweaver generated, crappy javascript and realized that you did the whole site with a wysiwyg.

I AM A PROFESSIONAL WEB DEVELOPER!

you should be seeking my services - not the other way around! how dare you try and solicit my business with a half-ass website like that! table layout? no CSS? non-compliant code? HTML 3? are you kidding me? you didn't even bother to clean up the code that Dreamweaver put in!

IF i did need database help do you really think i'd turn to you? do you really think that i'd employ the services of a spammer? what makes think that unsolicited email is a good marketing tool? it's one of the most reviled things on the internet!

i'd suggest castrating whoever is cooking up your marketing plans, hiring a real designer, learn something about your target audience and try again

...but not by email

- m a t t -

m@bigmisterc.com

http://bigmisterc.com

I love it when someone sends me mail about my site, gives me feedback or asks me questions. It's nice break from the tons of spam I constantly get about second mortgages, penis enlargement and online gambling sites, etc...

I'm slowly but surely forgetting what it's like to be well. My cold (which may well be pneumonia at this point) has been with me for two and a half weeks and refuses to die. The stuffy head and sneezing are mostly gone, but the cough persists. Should I be worried?

No plans for the 4th aside from sitting in the air conditioned apartment and relaxing and taking the family out to the fireworks at night.

I'm testing a new layout, if anyone is of a mind to take a gander. Is strict HTML 4.01 and CSS-2, so if you don't have a standards-compliant browser, don't bother... if you find anything majorly funky, let me know

GFA/CS d-(d++) s:++ a C++$ US P+ L E-- W+++$ N+ o-- K- w(w+) O- M+ V PS PE- Y+ PGP t@ 5- X R tv b+++ DI++ D G

What's yours?

Go visit my friend Carey's site and put her to work!

Summer is here in full swing and I am hating every second of it. I never noticed summer all that much when I was a kid and neither did I mind it. It was a time of riding my bike to the beach, soaking in a tub of cool water for as long as I wanted and adventures in the backyard with my friend, Diane. If I got too hot, all I had to do was fill up the plastic pool in the yard and dive in. It was the time of the year that we would go to visit my mother's family in Florida (and maybe Disney or Sea World while we were there.) I was out of school and care free.

That was then...

Now that I am an adult and have to work through the summer, sit in traffic in blazing heat and wonder to myself, "When, oh when will football season start again?" (Because, really... let's face it - football is one of the few sports that as exciting to watch on TV as it is in person. And football = cold. I like cold...)

I probably wouldn't be complaining quite so much if the dress code here at work were a little more casual. No shorts. No sandals. No T-shirts... that's 80% of my wardrobe, out the window. I wouldn't mind so much if it just weren't so damn hot out.

Well, I've finally gotten around to putting up a way for people to once again sign up for my (Mr. T. enhanced) mailing list... It seems though that all of the error functionality in the canned script provided by my wonderful host doesn't seem to be working.

Yikes! I lost 14 people from my long-neglected mailing list. I actually do have a notify list for this site that I hardly ever use. And since this is going to (probably) be the final incarnation of this site, I thought I'd send a message to the mailing list that there was once again fresh content being served up on a semi-regular basis. When I sent the message there were 60 people on the list. Shortly after the message went out, I got 13 "Undeliverable - User not found" type of messages and 1 unsubscribe request in my mailbox.

Go me!

In other news...

The cold lingers. Eight days and going strong. Maybe Brenda will get her wish after all for my rough deep voice...

That's it!

I'm never going to shake hands with anyone here at work, ever again! Every time I go into the bathroom, I see someone from my company use the toilet, flush and walk out the door... Everyone! From the CEO, down... no one washes their hands after fiddling with their junk - and it grosses me out to no end.

Actually, it isn't everyone. The geeks - the programmers and development and QA people I trust. But people from marketing, sales, etc. just stay away from me, please!

I went to see the Mets play last night - it's a good thing I'm not a fan... They got trounced. I wouldn't normally go see them play, but one of the companies who charges our company (through the nose probably) for their services hosted us. The day I turn down a free trip to go see a ball game, dinner included, is the day that I'm ready to be put in the ground.

Even with the Met's dismal performance (they were losing 9-3 when we left in the 7th) and the dismal weather (rained all day off and on, right up until game time) it was a nice time. The food was excellent, we got free balls and they even got a few players up into the skybox to sign them! That was pretty cool...

When I came home last night, my wife heard my voice and purred, "ooo... I wish you could have that voice all the time"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you don't sound quite so wimpy"

Gee! thanks, honey!

The cold persists. I am feeling a bit better even though my voice is almost and octave lower and feels like sandpaper & glue...

I have got a wicked head cold and should probably be in bed, sleeping - not here at work being miserable, drinking coffee and downing Dayquil™. But i've taken a lot of sick time already, used up all my personal days and don't want to touch my holiday or vacation time.

My voice is really, really rough sounding at the moment - like I've smoked cigars for 20 years and my throat feels like someone's taken sandpaper to it.

[groan, groan groan...]

I really am nothing but a big baby when I get sick. In spite of this fact, I've actually been rather productive here at work. Added a new section to the Intranet, finished the formatting for the soon to be launched extranet, made some changes to the site... But as the afternoon drags on I feel less and less productive.

But out my lethargic state came a pretty good idea for a new kind of site. I am thinking of asking two other people (designers, webby type people) to join me in a free-flowing kind of thing. A basic k10K rip-off with a scrolling news section, desktops, brief bios of the three of us, cams maybe... But the choice of people is what would make it interesting. You see sites run by like-minded people all the time - why not one where the people involved are very, very different from each other.

I wonder if these two people would be interested...

My duaghter graduated from junior high school today, thus making me officially old. I am now the proud parent of a high school student.

new desktop

So...

I am an idiot...

I was (like the idiot I am) playing on my computer during a thunderstorm. I know better than this. I should have shut down, unplugged everything and read a book. But no, I was in the grip of playing Panzer General II, giving the Brits and Americans hell when everything went black. When the lights came back on I was minus 1 CD Drive and 1 modem. I was able to get the CD working again, but my modem is fried.

...I am an idoit.

Happy birthday, Josh Davis!

10 ways to improve life...

Do each of these at least once a week, repeat as needed:

1. Go to the library. You're never so old that you can't be more informed or more well read.


2. Take a walk in the woods.


3. Take the long way home when you drive - repetition is a bad, bad thing


4. Go to church, sing, pray. Repeat the the former two each day.


5. Turn off your TV/computer/stereo/console game/etc. for a while - be analog (good time to crack open that book from the library, no?)


6. Cook, if you don't normally do the cooking at home or let someone else cook for you if you normally do the cooking


7. Pick wild flowers and give them to someone sweet.


8. Resist the urge. Doesn't matter what it is, resist it.


9. Skip wearing a watch for the day. (I never wear one...)


10. Write your own damn list...

I could go on... if you have some good ones, let me know.

Monday morning and the only persistent thought in my head is that funky, day-old, heated in microwave coffe at home tastes better than "fresh brewed" coffee at work.

I think my dentist hates me.

I've been having me treat me for a root canal and seems to be taking an eternity to finish. Every time I go in for more work it's always a temporary filling, a post, cleaning out more nerve material... It seems like it will never end. All of the nerve material is out of the tooth, so he no longer uses novacaine on me. It's a weird sensation - to feel him drilling and be aware of the vibration of it without being numb. All I can think of is that movie with Dustin Hoffman and Lawrence Olivier where he's drilling away and Dustin Hoffman is in agony...

Active Adults - A Visual Compendium updated daily - bookmark this one...

I'm 100% sure why I am starting this all over again, but I want a place to organize and record my thought and this seems as good a way to do it as any. I've been giving a lot of thought recently to being a web designer and what I do and the role I play in the company for which it works and have come to the conclusion that I am terribly unhappy. It's not that I dislike what I do - I went into web design because I love making things for the web. It's not often that a hobby is also a profession, so when the chance to do this as a living came along, I jumped.

The reason that I am unhappy is because I am not challenged at work. I'm never really presented with anything new or exciting - and I think that this is the fate of a designer who doesn't work in an agency or as a freelancer. Day in and day out looking at the (I really have to admit) butt-ugly site that someone else designed and I am stuck doing what boils down to maintainence work. It's extremely disheartening.

nothing here yet - check back later.