Frustration is mounting. I need to get back to work. The longer I sit at home, idle, watching the ever-continuing coverage of the events of two weeks ago the worse I feel. And I only get more and more discouraged as I hear of the problems with the economy, unemployment rising and more and more dot coms filing for chapter 11.

I am thankful though, that through all of this, I still have enough to eat, gas to get around, and am able to pay my bills...

I keep on mailing out resumés and cover letters, scouring monster.com every day, reading the classifieds from Hartford and New London every sunday... all to no avail it seems thus far. I know something will come along sooner or later, but I rather it be sooner. I once read or heard that a man defines himself by what he does. I feel undefined...

I don't know how Zannah, (who I have admired and adored ever since I first ventured onto the internet) finds the time or motivation to update so often, but I swing by there every day. You probably should too...

Although I realize that I am not any sort of bastion of Christianity on the internet, being a Christian I feel I have to say something about what's happened. It's been a week now and the shock has finally worn off; I am no longer numb.

People have been asking me questions recently and sometimes I am afraid to answer them. One of them is "What happens to the people on those planes? Where are they now? Heaven? Hell?" There's no easy way to answer it. I want to tell them that they're in God's hands now, which is the truth, but I am obligated to answer them truthfully. My pastor probably explained it best and that's what I've been telling people:

If there were 75 people on one of those planes and out of the 75, 65 of them had heard the gospel of salvation and 10 of them had accepted Jesus as their savior, then they are in glory right now. For the believer, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. The 10 out of the 75 who never heard the news of Jesus Christ, had never heard the gospel, they are not lost. Since they have never been preached the gospel of salvation, they are not responsible and they will be judged according to their deeds. But the 55 of the 65 who had heard the message of salvation and rejected it, they are lost. In Pastor Burns' words, "They have trampled upon the shed blood of Jesus."

Sad? Yes - infinitely tragic. It saddens me to the very depths of my heart. It's a sad, troubling time and the loss of human life and human souls is far greater a loss than the twin towers and petagon could ever be.

But there's another side to the coin. For the believer, this is a sign of the end times. Jesus said in Matthew 24:6,7:

And ye shall hear of wars and rumors of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation shall rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom...

It does not make it any easier to accept nor lessen the grief you naturally feel, but it's the best consolation we have. It's galvanized the country and is bringing people back to God like nothing has in a long time. For those who say, "How can God allow something like this to happen?" Billy Graham's daughter had a good response:

We've shunned him from our lives, taken prayer out of schools, removed him from the government and the way we write our laws. If you push him aside, he won't stay around, and if he doesn't stay around, how can we remain under his protection?

shocked... just shocked.

I don't have words to express what I am feeling. The anger, the shock, the horror of it all.

I can't wrap my mind around it. The image of that plane flying into the WTC will stay with me forever.

BigMisterC.com may be coming to an end pretty soon. Without a job it's going to be hard to come up with the money to renew the domain when it expires in October. I was thinking about letting it expire anyway and registering it with a cheaper domain registration service, but now I don't know if I'll be able to register it anywhere.

Well, I've updated my portfolio. I haven't updated it since before I got to Priceline. I've learned and done so much since then that it no longer reflected what I do and the style I work in.